Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Questions for my Brother

Inspired by Karl Haendel’s Questions for my Father



Why do you hate black people? Did you ever get praise from a teacher? How old were you when you found your dad’s stash of Playboy? What did you really do to go to jail? Do you still play the guitar? Do you remember the night terrors? Or putting pillows over my face? Or the knives through my mattress? What was the first drug you ever did? Did you want to hit your fiancé when the baby came out half black? Do you have any other brothers or sisters on your dad’s side of the family? Do you love them more than you love me? What made you stay and take care of the baby girl who wasn’t yours? Why did you steal from me? Did you fantasize about killing mom when we were young? Are you happy? What was it like dropping out of high school? Are you mad that I graduated college? Did you hit your fiancé when she was pregnant the second time? Where you addicted to meth the way mom said you were? Why didn’t you move back into the house when we were young? Was all that freedom at your dad’s good for you? How do you feel about the way mom raised me? How old were you when you finally got your driver’s license? Do you have any STDs? How did you feel when the second baby was born looking just like you? Did you stab a man outside that bar? Were you scared he would die? What are you most proud of? Do you sleep on a comfortable bed? In a comfortable home? What made you decide to keep your daughter after the adoption family was chosen? Would you kill the man who raped me if I told you who he was? Do you vote? Are you a Republican? Have you ever won an award? Why do you drink so much? How many times have you cheated? Are you sorry for scaring me so often? What if your daughters dated someone like you? Do you still eat the whole box of cereal in one sitting? Are your hands always dirty? What about your conscious? How many cigarettes do you smoke a day? Have you ever driven your daughters in your car after drinking? What made you stop talking to me? Do you remember what I look like?


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